In my studies last week for the Lord’s prohibition about judgment (“Judge not,” Matt. 7:1), I came across these comments by the “Father of the Puritans,” William Perkins. As I read this, it grieved me to consider the fact that such a heart actually impairs the means of salvation (both in the narrow sense of justification and in the broader sense of sanctification). The reason is because hearing the Word wrongly means that you become or remain dull to the things that Lord may be saying to you simply because you’ve focused on the man through whom the Lord is speaking. I’ll make some more comments at the end:
When in hearing the Word preached, and sins reproved in the congregation, some hearers misapply it, such as, for example, when the minister reproves the sin of swearing, of drunkenness, or any such sin. Then someone guilty of the sin does not only surmise but also breaks forth into this speech: “now the preacher means me;” “he speaks this of me;” “he censures my acts and speeches.” Hereupon follows spite and malice against the person of the minister, and also rash censuring and condemning of his ministry. They also sin this way: by applying the reproofs of sin to the person of others, such as when they say, “now such a one is touched”; “there is a good lesson for such a one if he would learn it.” Yea, others go further and say, “now the preacher means such a man;” “now he speaks against such a man.” But this is also rash judgment in hearing of the Word. They misconceive of the purpose of the minister, for his manner is not when he stands in the room of God to rip up the secrets and lives of some particular hearers, but to deliver the will of God concerning such and such sins unto all. It is the power of the Word, not the mind of the preacher, that causes it to touch your conscience. Therefore, everyone ought to apply the Word to his own heart, and not to lay it upon others, or else take it to be spoken of himself for his disgrace. For it is to misapply the Word, and to judge amiss of the preacher. And this is a common sin which is the reason why many men reap so little profit by the Word preached as they do.
William Perkins, 1.590 (RHB Edition; modified for readability)
There are three things to consider in this.
First, if you are a listener, do not expect that the preacher is speaking about you. Have you told him about your particular struggle, complained about some particular item, confessed some particular sin? Is he now preaching about that item? Do not assume he is personally attacking you. There are two things to remember that may help you not to judge rashly. First, you aren’t the only one to struggle with that item. Many Christians struggle with the same items and share those things with their pastors. If you have ever been a teacher, you know that students struggle with the same items in your course, and your addressing of those things is not a personal attack on the student. Second, remember that the Bible is written in such a way that it addresses the same issues over and over and over again. Complaining, parenting, finances, traditionalism, insubordination, anxiety, sexual immorality, division, gossip, and other such things come up over and over again for the same reason as my previous point: they are common struggles. If the pastor is speaking about something in your life, don’t assume he has you personally in mind. You may be “one of” those whom he knows is struggling with something, but that doesn’t equate to him “coming after” you.
Second, and more briefly, don’t be overly concerned with how you can make someone else aware of the issue confronted in the sermon. That matters, but consider first how it applies to you. If you get in the habit of thinking, “This only applies to my neighbor,” you’ll be even more prone to think “Now he’s coming after me!” when he gets to a particular issue. Think regularly, “How has my faith weakened in this area, my knowledge become fuzzy, my actions become rote or absent?”
Third, pastors, be sure to approach the work of preaching in a way that it is true that you are not making your sermons personal inappropriately. While it would be very difficult to preach without thinking of particular conversations and issues you have come across in private, do not make the sermon about a response to one particular person or conversation. Your manner when you stand in the room of God must not be to rip up the secrets and lives of some particular hearers, but to deliver the will of God concerning such and such sins unto all. Like my counsel to listeners above, if some particular conversation comes to mind, consider similar conversations, similar issues and think through how to open up the Word more generally about common issues. Leave God to deal with the particulars.